Bud

One 330 mL bottle of Bud on Friday night: $8.10. I think the only solution is for me to stop drinking....

Threats

I'd heard about the TV license before-- it's a funny little quirk of the UK that we Americans, with our God-given right to a TV, SUV, cell phone, and gun, find amusing. Of course, since I don't have a TV yet, I hadn't really done that much research on it. Last week, we got this letter in the mail (my favorite part is in the red box):


In case it's illegible, the boxed part reads:

What if you do not use TV equipment at his address? Please call us on 0870 241 8209 and let us know. We will arrange a visit to confirm the situation (emphasis mine), following which we will update our records.

What will the procedure be if you do not respond by the above date? Your details will be prepared for transfer to our Enforcement Division for investigation. Regional Officers will be scheduled to visit your address. If they find evidence that TV receiving equipment is being used on the property without a valid license, you may be cautioned and your statement will be taken in accordance with the Police & Criminal Evidence Act 1984, or Scottish criminal law. You may face prosecution and risk the maximum penalty of a £1,000 fine.

Now, once I get a TV, I'm planning to buy the license, but why not just call a spade a spade? If they're sending out threatening letters (even if it is in their adorable, proper English manner) and putting the burden of proof on every person to prove he doesn't have a TV, is it really a license any more? It sure sounds like a tax to me.

By the way, yes, the license is £135.50, or about US$ 271. So $23/month for the pleasure of the BBC. Yay! Anyone want to come over for the big cricket/snooker/soccer match?

BT Rant

British Telecom customer service sucks. Not as individuals-- everyone seemed very nice and competent (especially the credit guy). But, there's no reason for this to happen when doing something as simple as setting up a phone line:

That's right, a mere 3h45m after placing my call to BT, I was able to absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it, maybe have a phone line set up in the morning. And, if that didn't work out, an engineer could come around in 11 days to have a look.

Why the maybe? Well, since they don't actually store official Royal Mail addresses in their system, they couldn't confirm that I had a BT line already installed. This, despite my assurances that I had a phone at home plugged into a phone box which has "BT" stamped on it, and the phone was getting a dial tone.

So, the rep said she'd put in an order to have what she thought might be the right address' line activated. And, just in case it didn't work when I tried it, she'd schedule an engineer to come around to have a look. The next available appointment was in eleven days. Just for fun, you can't even start a broadband order until the phone line is installed.

That hour-long second call? Most of it was on hold too. I had to speak to a total of four reps to get my line maybe connected:

1. Initial screener: Asked why I was calling. Good thing I navigated through that phone menu during the first call. ("Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you'd like to see?") He transferred me to sales. Or, I should say he transfered me to the sales queue.
   
2. Sales: Hm, I can't find any record of your order. Ooooooh, you placed it online? Well that's different. Here it is! There seems to be a problem with your credit check. Let me just transfer you over to them to sort it. Of course, this means the credit queue.
3. Credit: Hm, it looks like the credit check was done partly wrong. I'll just redo it. Ah, good. You're approved! (We just need £25 to get things going.) I'll transfer you back over to sales. (No surprise, the sales queue again).
4. Sales: What address? I don't have that in our system. (10ish minutes of wrangling and I'm all set with my maybe-connection).
   

One last fun fact about the BT queue: I'm pretty sure there's just one song. I'm only pretty sure because the song would play for a few minutes before being interrupted by a ringing sound (yes!) followed by a recording stating that they were "sorry for the delay but they are very busy at the moment." (dang!) Then, right back to the beginning of the song. For AN HOUR.

Not good times. Here's hoping I have a phone line when I get home tonight.

Update (Sun 6pm): No phone :( Guess I'll start the 11-day clock.

Update 2 (11 days later): Sure enough, the engineer came, saw my BT boxes, hooked up a line finder, disappeared up the street for five minutes (I assume to connect my pair up at the remote terminal), and my line was installed.

Update 3 (a few weeks later): My first BT bill arrived with a £150 installation charge. Unbelievable. So it was back to the phone queues again to have it removed. It wasn't that hard, but once again I'm forced to deal with something that should never have happened.